Today I Feel Crotchety and Old......

Yesterday was not a good day. I fell down on the street. In public. Really bad.

While delivering some legal paperwork to the Courthouse and walking out, after going through the security area and putting the paperwork in my briefcase, I didn't notice that a corner of the sidewalk jutted out from the rest of the concrete slab, caught the edge of my sandals and brought me down. SLAM! Before I knew it I was flat on the sidewalk, on the street. Time froze as people all around me froze too.

Usually when people fall, invariably you hear some idiot laugh thinking this human incident is funny (let him fall and see how funny this seems now...) yet no one laughed. Several people ran over to me and helped me right away, which was nice considering Las Vegas is not known as a "friendly town". A young woman retrieved my loose belongings and patiently waited while I caught my breath and allowed the Court guard help me up.

I don't know about you, but for me there's nothing worse than falling in public. I haven't done this too often, thankfully, and last time I recall doing it was while running to the front gate of our home in Merida, during a summer storm when the cobblestones that covered the patio were wet and I slipped, just like in the movies, and I flew for a couple of seconds - I swear! And landed with a heavy Woosh! flat on my back as the air in my lungs was violently expelled. OUCH!!!! It hurt like heck!!!&%@%*)

I had gone to open the gate for a friend who'd come to visit and I could hear the worry in his voice as he was powerless to assist me, since I never made it to open the latch and all he could do was watch; I heard my husband run out of the house yelling "Don't move, I'm coming!"... not thinking I had no plans of going anywhere, anytime soon, I was too busy seeing starts and pinwheels and everything else and just trying to catch my breath, I couldn't even breathe.... As I came down my head bounced off the pavement, so my headache was momentous...OMG! I survived this?

Little by little I got up and I can tell you it took me almost a week of rest and muscle relaxers (happy drugs...) to get over it, but that was Mexico and now this happened in the good ol' USA where happy drugs aren't as readily available (at least not on my street corner as far as I can see- so far, maybe I should look harder).... Once I was up, naturally I was very embarrassed yet all I could think of was OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! and *^*&%%#$)*^#!!!!!!!! It hurt like heck!

But this time, I just walked to my car and didn't take stock of any damage, being grateful to walk away from this latest development yet once I sat down in the car I could feel the pulsating stinging on my knees, the hot pain on the palms of my hands, my neck hurt, all I could think of was to get home ASAP! I hobbled up the stairs and gave my family the news: "I fell down and went BOOM!"..... Now I could take stock of the damage and found: two really skinned knees beginning to swell; scraped shoes and my toenails were broken and feet scraped as well; my pants were ripped as was my new handbag and it was becoming even more painful now......

Right away my daughter got the skinny and advised me to file suit against the City of Las Vegas. It was their sidewalk, wasn't it? She said: "What if you're hurt and need to go to the hospital?", "What if you're disabled?"... I wouldn't go that far but I DID feel disabled...... I couldn't move, everything hurt, OWIE! Yet I knew I was lucky I was up and walking and able to be sarcastic about the whole thing. I had just read an article about people falling and it being the #1 health reason of serious accidents and deaths and the statistics where BAD..... (does this make me immune now since I've filled my quota?)

Never one to be a number, I'm glad all I got was bumps and bruises, and I can tell you as the evening progressed I recalled the Coneheads on Saturday Night Live and consumed "industrial quantities" of analgesics.... Got more sore, bruises in all shades of purple started appearing, my knees swelled up, my shoulders, neck, arms, hands, waist- you name it, it hurt and I knew the sun was NOT coming up tomorrow and I would be MORE sore and hurt..... but after this, recovery would begin and I'd start feeling better a little at a time.....

I never feel old, I'm active and have NO health concerns. No back problems, I take NO medications (let's not get into specifics here, folks....) and I've always been disgustingly healthy. It's rare I even take anything since I don't get headaches either- yet here I was feeling crotchety, achy, hunched over and needing to find "a spot" where it hurt less. I felt old..... and I didn't like it! If this is a portent of what the future would be as an old woman, I can tell you I am going to be one of those nasty old ladies that hit everyone with their canes! Take that!

I took a long hot bath, letting the hot water sooth my weary, bruised bones and sat in there until I did look old, all wrinkly and soft, yet I did feel better. We hadn't bought any liquor yet but I could have used a hot toddy or something stronger (Gimme those tequila shots over here!..) to knock me out and let me sleep, yet I bit the bullet and took two excedrin's instead. (I'll have to revise my shopping list soon I swear) and Kitty could sense all was not well and came over to keep me company and warm my back (Hey, I wasn't moving anyway so the usual discussion about having to remain immobile for Her Majesty was moot for today)... Ah, at least I was in my own bed if I needed to feel bad and not somewhere else.

I guess once again I have proven that a good diet and healthy lifestyle (pretty healthy by most standards as my friends can attest) had protected me and had let me know, yet again, that I do not have brittle bones (or I would have cracked for sure when my full weight had landed the way it did) and I can still take a hit.... how much longer will I be able to play stunt woman? I hope never again and this "pleasure" is something I can certainly forgo forever!

I can report that I'm already feeling better. Still a little crotchety but definitely better. Just came back from midnight food shopping at the Walmart down the street along with the other creepy crawlers decked out in pajamas and assorted vampires....No, I didn't remember to get some Tequila, I will get it at the Mexican market next time I go there as a "Survivor's Reward" and I didn't limp or anything- I also didn't park in the handicap spot- emotional handicaps don't count anyway.... I am feeling better already, as long as I don't look at my purple knees.....

Next time I will remember to pay more attention to where I'm going.... maybe.....